Tag Archives: Family

What my son taught me about my father

With the birth of my daughter, I came to understand my parents on a deeper level of what I even realized existed. My daughter has taught me so much about love and life. Now, with my son I’m discovering a new world of emotion and hope that makes up a father’s hope for his boy.

Thank you, Dad, for marking such a clear path. Happy Father’s Day.

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Video

Fatherhood

This video came out about a week before our second child was born. It moves me every time. Our little boy has now been with us seven days and as I consider the past week, I don’t know that the Lord could make His love and intent for us to have joy more obvious than allowing us to experience parenthood. Words cannot describe the feelings I had on the day he was born, except to say how aware I was that there was a Father in Heaven who loved me, who loved my wife, who loved our two beautiful children and that He was sharing in the joy we were experiencing that day.

In the video the father makes a comment on how he wishes he could trust his Father better like his children trust him so much. Having the special moments, emotions and impressions from this past week so fresh on my mind, thats what I find myself wishing for.

Looking in the mirror I see a lot of opportunities for growth, a lot of weakness and shortcomings. But like my newborn son, I realize I am at the beginning of a journey. The depth and breadth of eternity is out there ahead, and so I trust that my Father will be there, helping me with each new milestone, each new step, just like I look on with joy to each new day with my wonderful family.

Duty of Parents

President Joseph Fielding Smith taught:

“It is the duty of parents to teach their children these saving principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, so that they will know why they are to be baptized and that they may be impressed in their hearts with a desire to continue to keep the commandments of God after they are baptized, that they may come back into his presence. Do you, my good brethren and sisters, want your families, your children; do you want to be sealed to your fathers and your mothers before you … ? If so, then you must begin by teaching at the cradle-side. You are to teach by example as well as precept.”

(2012 October General Conference, Becoming Goodly Parents, Sat. Afternoon Session – By L. Tom Perry)

No more monkeys jumping on the bed – From Instagram [Pic]

One moment everything was fine, and the next everything was not.

One fateful toss of Olivia onto the bed changed that. She landed with her arm behind her and started to fuss and cry pretty bad. A few minutes passed and she wouldn’t be consoled. She was still crying pretty hard and we noticed she was not using one of her arms. I picked up her arm and  it pretty limp and I detected a slight bend where arms were normally straight.

My stomach dropped. We grabbed the keys and headed to the InstaCare.

While there Olivia settled down pretty good, and was almost normal, except she was still favoring her left arm. At one point I gave her my wallet and she held it for a second, let it dropped and whimpered. Even so, she seemed relatively back to normal by the time we made it the exam room.

The only fussing she really did was when she doctors or nurses. Having recently been to the doctors for immunizations and the whole sha’bang, she got pretty worked up when they got close.

We did an X-ray and sure enough, a little break. The good news is that it stayed pretty much in line. They put a splint on it and we’ll see a specialist tomorrow.

Almost 3 hours later, we’re home and Olivia went right to sleep. We’re grateful it wasn’t any worse and all in all a smooth, calm experience, but sobering as well. Especially as the perpetrator. It was a reminder to be aware of your choices and how they impact others. And how some situations that seem relatively harmless can change quickly–which puts an emphasis on being aware and thoughtful.

Lessons learned.

 

Image via Instagram

The Sanctity of Marriage

Quoting President David O. McKay, Elder Oaks reminded us of the sanctity of marriage and how it should not be misused,

‘Our Church leaders have taught that looking “upon marriage as a mere contract that may be entered into at pleasure … and severed at the first difficulty … is an evil meriting severe condemnation,’ especially where ‘children are made to suffer.'”

2012 October General Conference, Protect the Children, Sat. Afternoon Session – By Dallin H. Oaks

Kindness Begins in the Home

Elder Quentin L. Cook taught us of the importance of the home and family and its impact on society. He said,

The foundation of kindness and civility begins in our homes. It is not surprising that our public discourse has declined in equal measure with the breakdown of the family. The family is the foundation for love and for maintaining spirituality. The family promotes an atmosphere where religious observance can flourish. There is indeed “beauty all around when there’s love at home.”

“Can ye feel so now?”
October 2012 General Conference

Spirit of Elijah Applies to this Side of the Veil Too

Harold B. Lee taught,

“Now keep in mind this: that when the full measure of Elijah’s mission is understood, that the hearts of the children will be turned to the fathers, and the fathers to the children. It applies just as much on this side of the veil as it does on the other side of the veil. If we neglect our families here in having family home night and we fail in our responsibilities here, how could we feel that we are doing our full duty in turning the hearts of our children to their fathers.

“How would heaven be if we lost some of those we love through our own neglect? The blessings in heaven won’t be ours until we have done everything we can to save those whom the Lord has sent through our lineage. So, the hearts of you fathers and mothers must be turned to your children right now, if you have the true spirit of Elijah, and not think that it applies merely to those who are beyond the veil. Let your hearts be turned to your children, and teach your children; but you must do it when they are young enough to be properly schooled. If you are neglecting your family home evening, you are neglecting the beginning of the mission of Elijah just as certainly as if you were neglecting your genealogy research work.” 

Harold B. Lee, Priesthood Genealogy Seminar, 1973

Faith Best Formed at Home

Boyd K. Packer taught us that the home is the best place to develop our faith and spiritual protection. He said,

“One thing is very clear: the safest place and the best protection against the moral and spiritual diseases is a stable home and family. This has always been true; it will be true forever. We must keep that foremost in our minds.

The scriptures speak of “the shield of faith wherewith,” the Lord said, “ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked” ( D&C 27:17).

This shield of faith is best fabricated in a cottage industry. While the shield can be polished in classes in the Church and in activities, it is meant to be handcrafted in the home and fitted to each individual.”

“Do Not Fear”
April 2004 General Conference

Home: Heaven on Earth

While home can be a heaven on earth, it can also be a refiner’s fire. Our finest and weakest moments often involve family and how we treat them. A member of our stake presidency remarked that for his family, Family Home Evening was the only boxing match that began with a prayer. Joking aside, however, to fail to understand how important the family is to God’s plan is a critical mistake. David O. McKay taught us that no success can compensate for failure in the home. Harold B. Lee affirmed this teaching, saying that the most important work we will do will be with in the walls of our own home.

A Pattern for All Things

As the Lord set about to restore His gospel and church upon the earth, He told the Prophet Joseph,

“And again, I will give unto you a pattern in all things, that ye may not be deceived; for Satan is abroad in the land, and he goeth forth deceiving the nations—” (D&C 52:14)

When the Lord says he will give us ‘a pattern in all things,’ I believe that’s dualistic. Meaning, while He has given us a universal pattern and example in the life and mortal ministry of the Savior Jesus Christ, I also believe He also gave us multiple patterns and shadows throughout the scriptures, church history and in our worship  that give us a pattern for every thing. Each one of these smaller patterns serves to help us understand and apply the Savior’s life and grace in our own lives.

So, then, given our theme of creating a heaven on earth in our homes. What patterns from the Savior and from the gospel plan might help us establish celestiality under our ceiling? This won’t be an exhaustive exercise, but it certainly warrants becoming one. I will focus on a few ideas as a point of origin.

The Sermon on the Mount

When I consider what passage of scripture might serve as a starting point for understanding the life and example of the Savior, there are few passages that compare to Christ’s Sermon on the Mount. Consider some of the principles taught therein and how ready they stand for application to our family life:

  • Mourn with those who mourn
  • Be a peacemaker
  • Hunger and thirst after righteousness
  • Love your enemies
  • Avoid divorce, forgive
  • Virtue in thought, word, deed
  • Avoid anger, forgive, seek reconciliation

I admit that I readily consider these principles in relation with my fellow man, you know, ‘being a light unto the world.’But the older I get, the more I realize how my family truly means the world to me. Oh then, ois there a better place to start than in the walls of my own home? If I responsibility as salt to savor and preserve, shouldn’t my family take top priority as the most natural and most valuable place to start. If my home spoils, what have I?

The Lord’s House

With a list of practical principles provided by the Sermon on the Mount, is there a definitive example of  the ideal home-setting? I believe there is in the House of the Lord. Now, if you are like me, you might look around your home and see all the toys strewn about, or the plates in the sink and wonder how much of the temple can really be applied on an everyday basis, but don’t let discourage you. Consider how the House of the Lord is place where we can fill the spirit, learn, grow, become an eternal family and generally become spiritually prepared so that when we live that house, we will be  protected from Satan’s power and temptations. Are our homes much different in purpose? There’s a great deal we can learn from the temple in establishing our homes.

Bringing the Two Together

Let’s consider these patterns together. For example, we could make a chart where we identify in one column the teachings of the Savior in the Sermon on the Mount, and in a second column identify patterns from the temple that exemplify that principle. Then, in a third column we might identify possible applications in our own home. An example:

 Teaching: Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

From the Temple: 

  • If we need to talk, we are invited to whisper to preserve the reverence of the House of the Lord
  • The Lord’s House is a house of order and there’s always someone there to help and guide you (minimizes confusion which disrupts peace)
  • Temple activities focus on gospel doctrine and making covenants
  • Temples closed on Mondays
  • No one is forced to do anything in the temple, it is done by our own free will and choice
  • If we have unkind feelings toward anyone participating, we are invited to withdraw
  • We make covenants with God to obey, sacrifice and give our full effort to establishing the kingdom of God.

Possible Applications at Home

  • Establish the expectation (and example) that if we need to discuss something, we do so without raising our voices
  • As a parent, I can provide order by treating my children with integrity.
  • I can have regular personal interviews with my children (be there for my children, to answer questions and minimize confusion)
  • We don’t allow anything to compete with Family Home Evening on Monday night.
  • We respect the agency of our family members, by teaching doctrine, helping children understand consequences and give them the opportunity to act
  • We help our children from an early age understand and prepare to keep Gospel Covenants

Home can be a heaven on earth and I know that our Father in Heaven has all the power in the universe to help us succede as a family. That’s why we have the Plan of Salvation and the restored gospel understanding of it. Most of all, because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can find the grace, peace and inspiration we need to make our journey back home.

Whatever Jesus Lays His Hands Upon Lives

Speaking on the Raising of Jarius’ daughter from the dead, President Howard W. Hunter said,

These are not only the words of faith of a father torn with grief but are also a reminder to us that whatever Jesus lays his hands upon lives. If Jesus lays his hands upon a marriage, it lives. If he is allowed to lay his hands on a family, it lives.

Conference Report, Oct. 1979, p. 93

Video

Olivia Plays Pick-a-boo [Video]

Every night we have some traditions that we have with Olivia. We typically start with a walk around the neighborhood. After which, we come in and read from the scriptures. Then the three of us play. I’ll chase her around the chair, or Elizabeth will read her a book. And what playtime would be complete without a little pick-a-boo??

After that we say a prayer together as a family and then Elizabeth gives
Olivia a bottle and rocks her and sings her songs and she goes to bed.

“Write Them Down”

Henry B. Eyring shared the following story about journal keeping,

“When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. Let me tell you how that got started. I came home late from a Church assignment. It was after dark. My father-in-law, who lived near us, surprised me as I walked toward the front door of my house. He was carrying a load of pipes over his shoulder, walking very fast and dressed in his work clothes. I knew that he had been building a system to pump water from a stream below us up to our property.

“He smiled, spoke softly, and then rushed past me into the darkness to go on with his work. I took a few steps toward the house, thinking of what he was doing for us, and just as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”

“I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. Grandpa didn’t have to do what he was doing for us. He could have had someone else do it or not have done it at all. But he was serving us, his family, in the way covenant disciples of Jesus Christ always do. I knew that was true. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it.”

“O Remember, Remember”
General Conference, October 2007